Fitting It All In.

I am constantly amazed at what a woman is truly capable of when she puts her mind to something.  As a mom of two small kids (ages 4 and 6), a wife, a friend, and a student, I sometimes surprise myself at what I can accomplish in a given day.  I hate to have to "toot" my own horn but perhaps this is more for all multi-tasking moms out there rather than just for me.  I have quite a few friends who are moms and the juggling act that we all perform on a daily basis can be incredible at times. 

Let me walk you through a "normal" day.  It starts off at 5am when I wake up (which is only about 15 minutes before the kids wake up).  I clean up, get coffee started (as that's the catalyst that really holds my morning together), and make myself presentable, (which is done to make me feel human more than anything else).  I sit for about 15 - 20 minutes and figure out what I have to get done today, check my calendar for any outstanding appointments, and begin to create a schedule for the day.  No sooner do I begin this task, when the kids come meandering in asking for breakfast.  At 530am?!  Nope, too early for breakfast.  A piece of fruit is given to tide them over until about 7am when I will gladly serve them breakfast.  Off they go to watch cartoons.  I'm okay with it because it buys me a little more quiet time.

I grab a mug of piping hot coffee and my day begins.  I pull chicken or beef out of the freezer and decide on what to cook for dinner.  My husband hates this as he says, "It's not even breakfast time and you're worried about dinner?!"  Yes!  That's how it works.  We need to figure out what is for dinner early on so there is time to thaw the meat and head to the grocery store for any outstanding ingredients we'll need later in the day.  Dinner is decided. I check to make sure all ingredients are available.  Dinner - taken care of, all I have to do is cook it later.  One thing is off of my list now.

Since my son attends public school virtually (meaning he is assigned a teacher and attends via the computer with me as his "learning coach"), I have to schedule the next 4 hours to do his computer schooling and paper schoolwork with him.  Luckily my brother or my husband usually volunteer to do his worksheets with him, so this cuts down the time I have to spend.  This means I need to spend the next two hours (approximately) doing Gunnar's computer work with him.  During this time, I also have to find Kindergarten work for Brogan to do as she wants to be involved as well.  Plus it's good prep for her for when she does enter Kindergarten.  Once that is done, I get him situated with his worksheets and send him off to whomever decides to work with him.  All the meanwhile, I am filling up cups with ice and water, fetching snacks, breaking up arguments and fights while answering emails, phone calls, and scheduling appointments for my family, and trying to listen and seem interested in the stories my kids are telling me about the latest Zoe 101 episode.  Of course there are the visits to the potty to help my daughter while she's doing her "thing" in there and more breaking up arguments between the two kids. 

They then busy themselves playing while I settle in to do my own studying.  As a junior (I just changed my major to Bachelors in Criminal Justice focusing on Criminology), I have a full load of classes that I need to handle.  I have a cumulative 4.0 GPA and have not gotten less than that in my time in college, nor do I plan to.  In order to maintain it I have to have the time to study and a quiet place to study.  That's not always feasible at home.  Thinking that it's quiet and I can now study, I buckle down and begin to situate myself with where I need to begin.  Of course by this time my kids rush in saying, "Mommy can you make us lunch?"  Right as I'm about to respond with a "no, it's way too early", I peek at the clock in the lower right corner of my laptop and realize it's already a little past noon!  WOW! Already?  My response quickly changes to "Sure" because I know that hungry kids have more tenacity that full ones do.  My goal is to give them a hearty lunch that will hopefully slow them down and if I strategically combine that with a nearly 2-hour Disney movie, maybe, just maybe they'll fall asleep; giving me much needed study time and them a much needed rest.  So, I get up and make them chicken with macaroni and cheese, peas, and a banana.  A good meal with just enough carbs to put down a grizzly!  Another 45 minutes of my day is spent. 

After I clean the dishes, get the movie on and the kids settle in, a good 15 minutes has passed me by.  It's now well past 1:30p and I get a phone call from a friend and fellow student requesting help on a paper.  I assist her while logging into my school and simultaneously doing some pre-research of my own.  Fifteen more minutes later and I've been a good friend and helped her out. Now, it's time to feed into my own demon - procrastination.  I do this by allowing it to get the best of me and I check Facebook.  I have no need, just a distraction from the countless other distractions that have already plagued me.  Finally, I go "stealth" on FB so that I can't chat and I log in to school, open up my books, pull out my highlighter and I'm engrossed in my classes and schoolwork.  You see, once I get started I'm fine.  It's the "getting started" part that is my challenge.

I feel that I have a finite window of study opportunity here because I loathe studying past 6p and I almost refuse to unless I'm backed up against a deadline.  I simply don't compute things well past that time.  I would rather get up at 2am to get things done that do them later in the evening.  In this case however, my study window is really closer to 5p since I need to make dinner.  So now I have about 3.5 hours to study and get school postings done.  Doesn't sound like much time until I take inventory of the day.  What have I done?

Well I made breakfast and lunch for the kids and my hubby, I've done school with my son, I've scheduled my husband's physical therapy for his neck/back and made a follow-up appointment with his primary.  I've helped a friend with her issues, answered emails, updated the grocery list (as our monthly shopping trip is two days away), I've checked the weekly ads for the major grocery stores we shop at, I've helped my daughter and son in the potty countless times, I've cleaned up the kitchen and baked cookies, I've washed and dried two loads of laundry, stopped to give my solicited opinion on the addition that is being done on our house, prepared dinner, caught up on my textbook readings, lectures, and slideshows and even managed to write a paper and answer a discussion.  I can't imagine having to work a secular job as well.  For my lovely female friends that do, I salute you!!!!  I sit back at times and marvel at the ability that us women have to multi-task.  We are experts at it.  My husband will do one thing extraordinarily well, but to have him do multiple things at a time isn't going to happen. 

So for my mom friends or even multi-tasking female friends, this "TOOT, TOOT" is for you; for US!  I don't think our families realize how much we do.  I think there are times when we don't realize how much we do until the end of the day when we are so utterly exhausted that we are forced to ask ourselves why are we so tired and only then do we recap our day.  Ladies, kudos to us for handling so much, for loving it, and for appreciating the fact that we "get" to have our family that keeps us so frazzled and busy!  Somedays we need to "toot" our own horns.  We've earned that right, most of us don't though.  When would we fit it in?

Jedi Mom

The year is 2011. The day is Wednesday and the place is my local Target store. My husband and I decided to hit the store after a day of movie-going with the kids, pizza, and games. Needless to say, the kids had no cause for complaints today, however where there's a will, there's a way. And my son found that way at Target where he proceeded to throw a tantrum and complain that he "never gets anything!" Of course, his tantrum continued and was as loud and annoying as one of those car alarms that randomly go off in the parking lot with no owner in sight.

By this time, it was close to 5pm and we had been out since 10:30 that morning and my patience was long gone. Every second that his tantrum continued, I could feel my blood literally rise inside me. My husband had already bailed and was nearly to the electronics department by now, as he was more of the "just give him what he wants to keep him quiet" mindset. Uh, I don't think so! It will be a cold day in July in Tucson before I give in to a tantrum from anyone, much less a 5 year old! So I pulled him aside in the sporting goods section and had a little pow-wow with him.

I expressed that his behavior was unacceptable and that throwing a tantrum will guarantee a "NO" to nearly any request large or small. I gave him two options: 1. Continue to throw the tantrum and forget about ice cream (as was planned before the tantrum), or 2. Calm down, behave, and we would consider the toy for our next visit there. Our conversation took about 4 minutes ending with him making the decision to behave and calm down. After we got the ice cream and we finally got home, I was absolutely spent! I was exhausted, mostly mentally, but emotionally and physically as well. It was astonishing because I had to use strategy, psychological tactics, and remember everything I learned from Sun Tzu about negotiation skills just to handle my 5 year old!

Thirty-five years ago that scenario would have NEVER taken place. Not only that, but as a child I would have never even contemplated behaving in such a manner. I came from the "spare the rod, spoil the child" days, and no parent was going to let either of those happen. There was no discussion about anything. It was very simply, "because I said so!" Enough said. And if a child was brave, daring, or just dumb enough to question that, the next answer came in the form of a belt across the backside. If one happened to live in Virginia, (as I did for quite a few years), where bushes were aplenty, you then got to pick your own "weapon of mass destruction" as it were, otherwise known as a switch. Ahhh yes, you got to go out to the bush, pick off a thin, long branch, de-leaf it, and hand it over so that someone else could swat your bottom with it. One swipe of that switch and you could hear the distinct "whish" that it made as it cut through the air. At least I didn't have to say "Thank You" when it was over.

Granted, looking back, those days may have been a bit harsh in my mind. I'm betting they'd be considered a lot harsh by many these days. As a mom though I have to say those tactics worked. I had the fear of God and my dad in me. He wasn't mean at all, but all it took was a look from him (or my mom for that matter, promptly followed by a "wait 'til your father gets home") to put the kibosh on any possible stray thought that may have accidently wandered into my mind about misbehaving.

And so as I stood in the baseball aisle of Target, catching my breath after having negotiated good behavior out of my son, I wondered: when did it all change? When did discipline become a negotiation of sorts? I thought to myself, “Now I get it!” I understood why spankings were so prevalent when I was growing up. They’re easier!! They are to the point. They don’t leave room for lengthy negotiations. Teaching a child about choices, guiding them to help them make the right decisions, educating them about consequences, and showing understanding and patience all the while are not only time-consuming, but down-right tiring. The question is: is it worth it in the end? I sure hope so. Ask me in 10 years.

I do know this though, I love that my kids ask why. I love that they are tenacious and persistent. Those are powerful tools and qualities that will serve them well in adulthood. Ralph Bunche said, “To make our way, we must have firm resolve, persistence, and tenacity. We must gear ourselves to work hard all the way. We can never let up.” If that’s the case, then my kids are half way there!

For now, it’s their job to ask as many questions as they can think of. It’s their job to push the limits and try to expand the boundaries to their benefit. They are like mini Jedis and I’m like a Jedi Master. It’s my job to teach them how to best wield their power and control those “tools” and to do it with love and understanding. Of course arming myself with a smidge of cleverness, a skosh of craftiness, and a dash of “one-step-ahead-of-the-game” just might get me through this unscathed. Exhausted, but unscathed.

Just Around The Corner...

Ahhh the mall! The house of worship for a congregation of teenage parishioners. They hang out, loiter, dress in ways that should be "fine-able". Do their parents know they are there? Do they care? They are not the only issue I have with malls. Is it just me or does it seem like when you walk into a mall, the air changes? I immediately feel as though there is an invisible fog of bacteria and viruses floating all around me. I'm not a germaphobe, but perhaps I'm a bit paranoid. How can there possibly be THAT many people inside one area and it still be healthy? It is the very last place I choose to be unless dragged there at gunpoint. I truly avoid it at all costs.

I hate taking my kids there because they inevitably want to play in that bacteria-ridden, children's cesspool near the food court. A bit extreme maybe, but surely you've seen the kids that are playing in there. Forget about the coughing, runny noses, and sneezing that are rampant in that area. Let's talk about how the kids literally run amok like migrating wildebeest through the Serengeti trampling everything in their path. Hello?! There are little children in here! It's as though parents think as long as they pass the shoe cubbies and they're within the play area they no longer have to parent their kids. I don't think so.

Needless to say, my husband and I view that area as a "hot zone" which by CDC standards is the area in which airborne infectious diseases reside. My kids are welcome to go play in there once hazmat gear is provided. Until then, we'll stick to parks and rec.

I don't dislike everything about the mall. The food court for example is a "foodie's" dream. Who in this world wouldn't like to sink their teeth into a gooey, rich, cinnamonny, delectable Cinnabon?! Oh Sweet Moses! I'd love to just buy a gallon of the frosting and slather it all over me from time to time. It's THAT yummy! Or what about movie popcorn?! Yes, that's right, the 12,000 calorie salted, buttery delight. I'll admit, I love it. And I shovel it in my mouth like I haven't eaten in a year! And I'm okay with that. Food court and movie popcorn aside, I'm not much of a mall fan. Having said all of that, I have to say, life just wouldn't be the same without them. So, I'll brave the diseased air, and the loitering teens, and the crazed kids so I can have the luxury of knowing that if I ever need something from the mall...it's right there...just around the corner.

Embrace It.

So it's almost THAT time of year again. Yes, the dreaded "V" Day! Valentine's Day. There was a time that I boycotted this holiday. Truth be told, until I found my husband I had never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. I never planned it that way. It just so happened, which in retrospect seems a little odd or perhaps telling? Anyway, when this overrated, over-hyped, under-wanted holiday rolled around I had decided for many years that it was a day in which I would embrace those I truly loved...my friends.

We'd get together and hit the movie theaters. We'd indulge in chocolate in the form of candy bars, popcorn, and later enjoy each other's company for wine and dinner. Never was there a mention of the lack of a "significant other", "ex's", or "dating" in general. It was more about us and our bonds. It was everything Valentine's Day was supposed to be; lovely, relaxing, enjoyable, and mostly spent with those we loved. It was easy and uncomplicated. The fact that I didn't have my own "special Valentine" did not escape me. The difference was that it didn't matter. I was happy and didn't feel I was missing anything.

This will be my sixth Valentine's Day with my husband. And while it's true, there is a different meaning I suppose because I have a romantic love for him, it's really not that different. I don't wish for roses; they die too soon. I don't wish for chocolates; (well, I DO but for caloric reasons I wouldn't). I don't even need a $3.00 card which will get stowed away with all the othe cards. What do I want? Time. Time spent with the person I love. Before you all sit back and say, "Of course you don't hate it. You have someone." Let me stop you right there. Yes, I'm thankful to have someone to love, not just for this day, but everyday. That's a blessing. For Valentine's Day however, for me, it's about love in general. Friends, pets, it's all good.

I guess the point is that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about "lovers". It can be whatever we want it to be about. So this holiday don't shun it, don't boycott it, don't hide from it or hate it...embrace it! Grab someone or something you love - a friend, a dog, go it alone if you choose, and do whatever you enjoy. It is a holiday about love and whether you're attached to someone or not, there's always someone or something to love. Find it and embrace it.

Such a Sick Loser!

The verdict is in and yes folks, I have it - full on bronchitis! Aaarrgh! So frustrating! I'm a mom, a wife, and a student and I just don't have the time or luxury of being sick. The kicker is that my doctor informed me that bronchitis is viral which means antibiotics don't do anything at all. In other words, "deal with it". She recommended Robitussin and said that the body will fight it off. If it becomes pneumonia then they will write a perscription for antibiotics. Really? You don't say.

Not only is being sick inconvenient but I'm on this HCG diet and it makes it extra tough because I can't have cough drops or most OTC medicines because of the sugar. The upside is that I've stuck to my diet, which I am very proud. I have not once felt hungry or tired (other than the fatigue brought on by being ill), and it's been 3 days and I've lost 11 lbs! Amazing and I have energy (even for being sick) and feel pretty darn great considering.

Today I received a card from my husband that was a "Way To Go" card and he congratulated me on my progress and said he was proud of me and the efforts and successes I'm making and having and he would do anything to help me. That was gold! I'll be high on that for a week! So I sit here drinking my 10th (12 oz) glass of distilled water with lemon, thinking about how far behind this week my bronchitis has put me and you know what? It's all good. Tomorrow I'll catch up as well as Friday and Saturday.

This has been a challenging week and I can't wait to be well again. I also can't wait to get up in the morning and weigh myself. How crazy is that?!!! It's true though. It's what keeps me going and such a high to see the scale point to a lower and lower number. I have a lonnnnnng way to go. Slow and steady wins the race. Until then, I'm happy being a "loser". =)

6 lbs In Two Days!!!! Yaaaaaaaay!

A few days ago I posted that I was starting the much talked about and highly controversial HCG Diet. It consists of homeopathic drops of the Human Chorionic Gondatropin hormone and a 500 calorie a day diet. The concept doesn't sound very appealing, I mean who wants to only eat 500 calories a day? Plus if you're a "foodie" like me and seriously enjoy cooking and eating food it seems like it would be very difficult. I started the drops on Friday which doesn't count (or Saturday) because those days were "loading" days. Sunday I weighed myself and got my starting weight and measurements. When I weighed myself again Monday morning (because we are supposed to weigh ourselves every morning), I was down 2 lbs. Okay not bad but it was "water weight" I was sure. Then this morning I weighed myself and I was down 4 more lbs! WOW! So, now I'm thinking perhaps this DOES work. Time will tell. Although I'm excited to have lost 6 lbs in 2 days, I have a long way to go. I anticipate that this is not the rate that will continue for the full six weeks. If I'm still losing 2 lbs a day by day 4, then I'll be really happy. With so many different brands and formulations of HCG out there it's tough to know what works. HCG 1234 by Creative Bioscience (as shown above) is the one I've been using. I purchased mine at my local Sunflower Markets grocery store. They are available there for $49.99 which is comparable to the best on-line prices. I'll be purchasing another bottle for sure. It's not hard to follow. I have not been hungry at all. So far there haven't been any "downsides". I'm thrilled that I decided to try it. Finally something that works! How long will it work? We'll see. Stay tuned. =)

HCG Day One...

Well, I did it! I took the plunge (again) and began a "diet". Ugh! What a wretched word! Shall I say that I've "changed my eating habits"? How about that I'm "eating better"? "Making better food choices"? Yeaaaaah,...NO! Make no mistake folks, it's a diet, plain and simple! The upside is though, it doesn't "feel" like a diet so much. Oh, I did the customary logging of my starting weight and jotting down my measurements and before you even contemplate asking me for that information, let me just say these two words: HELL NO! LOL! I'll blog about my experience, but I do have some pride and won't completely humiliate myself! Sheeesh! However, should this prove successful and if I reach my weight goal of "not quite Tori Spelling but just shy of Jessica Biel", I will then gladly share all the ugly deets! Until then,...not a chance! ;D

So let me fill you in on my journey so far. It began two days ago on Friday, 2/4/11 in which I began to take the drops and had to start "loading". Loading is where I HAVE to force myself to eat as many fatty foods as I can in two days specifically chocolate, bacon, butter, basically any and everything we're told to either consume in moderation or avoid altogether. WOOHOOO!!! So I did it and you know what...not so fun. I got "permission" if you will, to eat all the craptacular foods that I wanted and I did and felt sick to my stomach, tired, and all around yucky! After an hour I just wanted some fruit but the directions are specific and strict and so I continued to "load". After two days, as expected, I gained 2lbs. (I was prepared for it as the instructions said this would occur).

Today began the 500 calorie extravaganza! I take 10 drops under my tongue 3 times a day and eat a 500 calorie diet. I anticipated that it wouldn't take long before I began to gnaw on my own fingers from hunger, however...no such thing happened. To the contrary, I have not felt hungry at all, in fact I rather enjoyed my meals.

For breakfast I had a cup of black coffee (Starbucks Pike Place, of course) with Stevia sweetner and 1 square of Melba toast - plain.

My mid-morning snack was 1 apple.

Lunch consisted of 100 grams (about 3.5 ozs) of chicken, (other options include extra lean ground beef, various fish, veal, etc.), and 1/2 a cabbage. (Only 1 vegetable choice is allowed per meal. Choices are 1 tomato, 2 cups of lettuce, an onion, 1/2 a cabbage, 5-6 celery stalks, spinach, or cucumber). I love cabbage so I adeptly crafted it into an "out of this world, beyond delicious" chicken and cabbage soup. I have to say, I even impressed me! And...I was full to boot.

Mid-afternoon snack was 1 orange.

Dinner was 100 grams of grilled chicken that I seasoned with some of Tony Chachere's Cajun seasoning, along with onion powder, garlic powder, celery salt, and pepper. My vegetable choice was 1 tomato which I sliced and seasoned as well. I am allowed another piece of Melba toast, which I will save for my before bed snack.

I feel very satisfied. I'll admit, it was hard not to lick the spoon while making fluffy, buttery, fresh mashed potatoes for my family, but I resisted. I brewed a second pot of Starbucks Verona as we are allowed as much black coffee, tea, water as we like. The only allowed sweetener is Stevia, which thank goodness tastes fine. I've drank more water today (nearly a gallon!!!) than I have in days combined! We are allowed to use lemon wedges in our water and it's been perfect for me.

So! The verdict is that 500 calories with HCG is definitely do-able and it (so far) doesn't make me feel like I'm starving at all!! The promise is 0.5 - 2.0 lbs per day! Time will tell. The hardest part? My mind!!!! I'm like a mental-sniper. My mind can kill my will without me even realizing what's happening. Am I hungry? Nope. Would I love to munch on some Lay's Potato Chips? Absolutely! Are they salty, light, crispy, and delicious? Heck yeah! Will just one really hinder my efforts? And so goes the mental warfare.

Then I remember two quotes that help to keep me on the right track. The first one is: "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Cliche? Sure! Cheesey? Yep! Accurate? Dead-on-the-money!! I love that because the simple fact is IT'S TRUE! Do we all have to look like Tori Spelling? I hope not, but I challenge anyone to say, "I feel better, more confident, and prettier when I've got saddlebags, a gut hanging, and my thighs rub together!" No, thin(ish) and healthy feels good!!

The second quote I love is from General George S. Patton who said, "Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing; you have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night, but the body is never tired if the mind is not tired." AMEN to that!!

And so, on this Superbowl Sunday when the world is feasting on all the deliciousness that get-togethers bring, cakes, finger-foods, chips/dips, etc...I am sticking to my guns and letting my mind run my body. I have faith in Gen. Patton, I'm trying to have faith in the diet, but mostly...I have faith in me. One day down...41 to go!!! =)

I Think I'm Going to Give it a Shot!

So, no doubt you've already heard something about the crazy HCG diet! Yep, oral drops or injections which when performed under medical supervision would cost about $400.00 + per month. However, as with all things, time lowers the cost and once it hits the internet, it becomes more reasonably priced because it's not exclusive any longer. Anyway, yes, this is the 500 calorie a day deal. Crazy? Perhaps. Safe? Some say it is, others will argue that fact. Does it work? Apparently it does, and like a charm!!!

Two days ago when I walked into my local Sunflower Market store for some veggies with my hubby and kids, I saw a sign that said, "HCG sold here!" What?! That's awesome! So after doing a little investigative work I learned they now sell it there - the sublingual drops. So many have had great results and rave about it. And....(ready for this)...it was on sale for only one more day for $39.99!!!! So I figured if I'm going to "try" it, I might as well buy it at a discount in case it's a bust! I will embark on my HCG journey, which I will from this point forward refer to as "Operation Slimdown" on this Saturday. I may blog my progress in a separate blog. If I do, I will include the link here. Perhaps, I too can be a "success story". ;D Who knows, but if it works it'll be worth the risk right? Fingers crossed. Wish me luck!

Not An Option!

A friend of mine once passed on a quote to me that her girlfriend told her. She said, "Holding on to someone that treats you like an option, makes you miss what it feels like to be treated like a priority."

That is the gospel truth!!!! I thought about that tonight and wondered why does that even happen? Does one individual get too comfortable? Do they all of a sudden feel they don't need to show the other person how important they are? And if so, how does one get that to change?

You know, I've said this before and I'll say it a million times; compliments are free. Hugs are free. Making someone feel loved and important is free and darn near effortless, so why is it so hard to do it? We hold back. We don't say things we may want to say for fear of...? What? Rejection? That it won't be reciprocated? So you do the "safe" thing which is nothing at all and then another day, minute, second goes by that the person you supposedly like or love doesn't know how you feel or at least felt at that moment. WHY?!!!!!!

I literally want to scream that from the rooftops!! Why oh why, do we not simply say what is in our hearts? Take the risk! Do it! Just grab the bull by the horns, jump in feet first, wear your heart on your sleeve and open up your heart and just say what you feel! You know why? Because we always wait for the right time, or to receive the right "signal" letting us know that the other person feels the same way. Stop waiting because one day there won't be time to wait. One day we may not have a "tomorrow".

I get it, trust me. I've done the same thing and therein lies my frustration. It takes guts, cahones, nerve, courage, and strength to open the heart, share what's inside, and hope and pray that the receiver doesn't shred it to bits! It is however one of the risks in life truly worth taking. And so, if you dear reader, are so lucky to have someone that does just that; opens their heart and expresses their feelings for you, do me a favor will ya; let them know how important they are to you! Make them and make loving them a priority. There is surely nothing worse that feeling alone when you have someone to love. Make someone your priority but make sure they know that you are not an option.

Advice Worth Taking.

There are a great many benefits to having close friends. They provide camaraderie, insight, hopefully honest opinions, laughs, and yes...even advice. Better yet is when you find the friend that provides the "right" advice for your particular situation.

Now, you may or may not subscribe to horoscopes, zodiac signs, etc., however even I have to admit that there are certain similarities and character traits that cannot be denied. So, when my Scorpio gal friend and I talk about things, it shouldn't surprise me that more times than not, her response is EXACTLY the same as my husband's would be! My husband too is a Scorpio and he and my friend are ridiculously alike in many ways. So naturally I find myself often going to her with the "I don't get why he does this" statement. Understanding not just my husband, but men in general is much like tackling the New York Times crossword puzzles - frustrating and nearly impossible for me without help.

It is remarkable how another person's insights can clarify even the muddiest of waters. You see, my husband has the tendency, (like many men) to shut down when upset. We're working on our communication skills as a couple however it doesn't change the fact that often I'm kicking myself for not honing my psychic abilities, as it seems that is the only way I'll ever know what he's thinking. That was until "T" (as I'll refer to her, should she prefer not to be identified in some random blog that surely no one will ever read anyway). T gets him.

She will, with complete accuracy, explain what his reaction was as if I'd already told her, (which I hadn't). When I respond surprisingly with "That is EXACTLY what he said (or did)!", she'll simply say, "yeah, because he's a Scorpio and what he's thinking is...yada, yada, yada." She explains him to a "t" and is dead-on-the-money every time!

So when she gives me advice and says to stop over-analyzing his words and actions, and to "do this" because Scorpio's need to feel "this way" and not "do that" because it makes them "think this", now...I listen. And so last night, when she gave me advice to basically ease-up and just go with it, I did. And you know what? It was one of the best nights my husband and I have had in a long time. Do I thank her because she's a Scorpio? Do I thank her because she's intuitive? Perhaps, but mostly, I just want to thank her because she's my friend. Thanks T!

Back.

So, I just got back from Starbucks or SB as I've come to refer to it. Taking time to meet up with the gals and chit-chat, catch up on each other's lives...well it's like a breath of fresh air. It's been a lonnnnng while since I've posted and much has gone on. To make a verrrry long story short I still have school, my son's school, household things, regular worries, you know the usual. My mom passed away in December, the 15th at 5:45p to be exact and it is still surreal. Life has its up and downs and in this crazy world I am one of those people that simply must make time for "me". And I do.

SB is my haven. I walk in and the baristas all know me by name, they know what my "regular" drink is (Grande or Venti, toffee nut Pike Place; room for cream please.) I'm one of the regulars and when I get there the other regulars are usually there; Ann and her husband Gil, Steve - who's wife we've never seen, Sammie - who hurt her knee and his waiting to get into the Navy,...etc. We all meet up, play some Tri-ominoes (a version which is altered on a regular basis, but fun as hell nevertheless), talk about life, politics, books, whatever. After two hours there, I'm refreshed and feel like me again. I used to feel guilty about taking that time. I don't now because I realize I need it. More importantly, I realize that it is okay to need it. That was the toughest part.

Unfortunately, there are far too many things on my "to-do" list so I have to budget my time wisely between school, family, friends, Facebook (yes, I'm hooked too), Cityville (damn those folks at Zynga!), and everything else. For now, this will have to do. Truth is, blogging may be useless, and no one may read them, but it's cathartic and sometimes that's enough.